This is a post from my old blog at http://psychopathwatch.webs.com. Lately Psychopath #2 has been rearing his ugly head again (ostensibly to make amends). Though I have maintained No Contact, because he is technically “family”, at times the pressure to cave in has been significant. When I look back at this old blog and see how angry I was, I feel good that I’ve made some progress towards greater awareness and some healing.
The old blog is also a log of some of the sick behaviors I have actually started to forget about. The forgetting is what scares me the most; I almost felt inclined to allow him contact again when hubby spilled the beans that he had come around on a couple of occasions to mend fences. But this blog reminds me of the consistent behaviors I saw over a period of three years. This guy has a totally warped value system and is an abuser through and through, and my money is not on him changing significantly anytime soon. My position on “forgiveness” definitely hasn’t changed from 2011, nor has my position on ever considering reconciliation with #2.
On a somewhat related note, I recently read the book, “The Five Languages of Apology” by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas, as suggested by our therapist, and I feel the authors are borderline full of crap. The book is useful as long as the parties involved are of “normal” psychology. The book risks keeping a fair number of people in toxic or even dangerous situations for longer than they might otherwise stay, by not touching on the subject of Cluster B personality disorders and their 1) unresponsiveness to treatment and 2) detrimental effects to the people around the Cluster B individual.