Is Being “In One’s Head” Such A Bad Thing?

I’ve had the privilege of finding so many kindred spirits lately, others who know so well the baggage and hurdles of having been raised under narcissistic influence.

A lot of what I see written about (and write about, myself) is about the negative side of being an ACoN. So, today, I’m choosing a slightly different perspective from which to view the effects of my upbringing and other challenges.

TheWeirdPhilosopher recently blogged about her vivid “thought life”, and it occurred to me that perhaps what she experiences isn’t so unusual. Every school report card I had as a kid reported my “daydreaming”. I know I was bored in school, which I thought was explanation enough, but maybe there is more to it. Quite frankly, I’m bored and often daydreaming at work, too – seldom am I fully present where my body is at any given moment, either.

Narcissistic households are inherently controlling households. We are often raised to hold certain opinions (those of our parents), and often to unquestioningly worship the same deities (as our parents). We are often told, or it is implied, how we are to look and behave, and who we are to be. Our worth, instead of being allowed to shine from within, is dictated from the outside.

So how does this relate to our inner worlds? Maybe, just maybe, some or most of us ACoN’s are so “in our heads” as a coping mechanism. Having a rich inner life kept us from being “assimilated by the Borg”. We are truly not extensions of our narcissists, no matter how badly they insist otherwise. They can do a lot to mold us and shape us, and they may succeed in distorting us, but as long as we are still (even silently) thinking our own thoughts, holding our own opinions, and even harboring our own fears and doubts, we still ultimately own our selves. And maybe the more a person retreats inwards, the greater and more vibrant is the spirit they are trying to preserve.

The positive takeaway: We’re an imaginative bunch. Maybe we haven’t quite found the right outlets for our creativity yet, but it’s there – narcissists be damned.

2 comments on “Is Being “In One’s Head” Such A Bad Thing?

  1. Thank you for writing this. I am very much in my head, something my mother has always hated and my father ignored and my ex husband thought would be his cash cow (when I get my book published). Every time I am hurt by them, I withdraw more into myself. And thank you for pointing out that it is the one place they truly can’t get to unless I allow them. I could hug you. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Knowing the Narcissist

Read and understand all about narcissists from the best source possible. A narcissist himself.

Butter Makes Your Pants Fall Off

Food is the Best Medicine and Fat is the best Food

Sarafina Bianco

Friends call me Fina.

Surviving Narcissistic Abuse

Moving forward towards freedom, hope, and happiness.

The Babushkas of Chernobyl

A story of three unlikely heroines from the most toxic place on Earth

No, Not Baby Anymore.

I know the pieces fit. . . cause I watched them fall away.

Emily L. Hauser - In My Head

Writer, social activist, a lot of Israel/Palestine, and general mental rambling

Dating a Sociopath

The truth will set you free!

Hidden Scars

A Voice Through Trauma

The Belle Jar

"Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences." - Sylvia Plath

Jana and the Stone : A Blog

Inspirational Thoughts on Empowerment, Fitness, Spirituality and Love

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.

Dree Speaks Freely

Clearing My Thoughts. Speaking My Mind. On My Own Terms.

Greed Vs Creed: Smith's Fields of Shame

Autobiography, Attempted Murder, Assassins, Greed, Lust, Cover-up, Lies, Destruction, Betrayal, Explosive, Highly Litigate Lawsuit, History, Criminal Intent, Cointelpro, Break-ins, HDS, FBI, CIA, Unmarked Plane Stalking, Electronic Surveillance, Neighborhood Watch, Electronic Harassment, Directed Energy Weapons, Psychological Operations, MkUltra, DOD Directive 5240.1-R , War on Terror, Wicca Rituals, Vampires, Gang Stalking, Electronic Harassment, Mircrowave, Scalar, Lasers, Reputation Destruction, Mind Control, Radiation Exposure, Corruption, Politics, Propaganda, Domestic Terrorism, Bioterrorism, Falsifications, False Flag Operations, Threat Assessments

Psychopath Resistance

Learn how to recognize them. Then you can resist them.

Everyday Red Flags

The Discernment Project


Psychopathy Awareness

An Upturned Soul

Sometimes I Climb the Walls and Lie on the Ceiling

Silver Boundary

Stop the abuse and attract authentic love.

The 4 - Hour Body

An uncommon guide to rapid fat-loss, incredible sex, and becoming superhuman


Achieving strength through weakness


Just another WordPress.com site

ronald scott ippolito

a man to stay away from


My mind in motion, reflecting the movies it plays.


"Until this ghastly tale is told, this heart within me burns" (Coleridge)

b-R-o-K-e-N 101

Journal recovery from an emotional affair


Support for survivors of domestic violence, rape and fraud

Soul Healing Art

by Kimberly Harding

Rule of Stupid

Reading, writing and a-rhythmic tics

Reflections on Life Thus Far

My life. My story: Exploring mental health, spirituality, meditation & random thoughts I have

The Project: Me by Judy

The Tools I Wish I'd Known About Sooner

I Won't Take It

Life After an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

lexicon lover

Surviving Evil - Finding hope after Narcissistic abuse

BroKen, Not Shattered!

Living a life with PTSD

Quotes from an Emotional Cheater

Remembering it all, one bullsh*t line at a time

Zen Doe

down to earth spirituality, down to earth mediumship

Finding my way back home...

Where names have been changed to protect the guilty. Because innocence has been lost...


Essays From the Cougar Den

Ladywithatruck's Blog

There is no rhyme or reason with a narcissist. Carrie gives you Reimer Reason

Deliberate Donkey

we're telling secrets here

My journey of healing from psychological abuse

psychological abuse is very prevalent in our day and age, though few know how to recognize it

Keep It Up, David!

I'm slimming down and not stopping now.


the lived experience of being dead inside

Nakia Fleming, LCSW

Today you are one step closer to a new you where you feel empowered and on a positive path to growth and well-being.

Phoenix Rising

"I hope the leaving is joyful; and I hope never to return." Frida Kahlo

%d bloggers like this: